Theme Song #17 - Things Are Lookin' Up

So I find out today that we am going to be receiving some sort of recognition for the first part of Angels in America. I hesitate to call it an award, because I am not totally sure that is what it is.

Every year the local gay newspaper "Between The Lines" hold a theatre awards ceremony. The only award to professional theatre, no community theatre. But today the gentleman who is in charge of it all emailed me and asked me to call him.

I did and he wanted to make sure I would be at the ceremony tomorrow. I hadn't planned on it, and I have a rehearsal scheduled. He said he hated to spoil the surprise, but he had no choice as the other avenues he pursued to get me there, hadn't worked out. He said they were planning something "special" near the end of the awards for our production of Angels in America.

I told him I was thrilled and would do whatever it took to be there.

So I will write more tomorrow to let you know exactly what it was.

I just feels like vindication. It couldn't have come at a better time. Unless of course they are luring me there to present the worst production award or something like that. In which case I will shoot a faggot or two. (I am a faggot, so I can say that, and I am kidding of course.)

"...will their faces be stony, when they see on their Sony, someone handing the phony a Tony award.."

That is my theme song for right now

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Theme Song #16 - So Much To Say, So Little Brain..

Not really sure what to say here...

A little drunk again. Damn after rehearsal drinks.

Not a good night over all.

I am ready to move.

Wish it was tomorrow.

It's not.

Not sure I can say much more at the this moment.

So, that's all.

Not very interesting huh?

"Look at me, Look at me. I am changing. Trying every way I can. I am changing. I'll be better than I am..."

That is my theme song for right now.

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Theme Song #15 - Just Checkin In 2

Rehearsal was very good tonight. Long. But good. Did individual work with the 4 new actors. Spent 4.5 hours. But got through some good stuff.

Family Guy is freakin hysterical.

Stewie Griffin ROCKS.

Back to work tomorrow. I hate when the weekend ends. Feels like going back to school.

Paul should be home Thursday. He's been gone 3 weeks. I miss him.

Have you seen Weeds yet? Probably the best new show in a long time, and I watch a lot of teefee.

I lied about not talking about my friendship issues anymore. The thing that makes me most sad is that the whole situation doesn't even seem to be a big deal to my friend. I know this is all the right thing, but it still doesn't make it any easier.

"lucky there's a family guy. Lucky there's a man who, positively can do, all the things that make us laugh and cry..."

That is my theme song for right now.

More. Life.

Theme Song #14 - Drunk Bloggin' 2

So the party's over.

It was far from a party.

People "rehearsed" and ate, then left.

Not everyone, but half.

The party part was very mild. I wouldn't say "fun".

Sophie had fun. She got lots of attention. She is worn out.

I'm tired, and I am praying there isn't a house showing tomorrow.

I am lonely right now.

"...sometimes people leave you half way through the wood. Others may deceive you. You decide what's good. You decide alone. But no one is alone."

That is my theme song for right now

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Theme Song #13 - A'Cookin and A'Cleanin and A'Quotin

Getting things ready for the gathering tonight, and for a showing of the house tomorrow. I actually hope they don't come tomorrow. It is such a pain in the ass. I feel like the kids on the Brady Bunch. I want to pretend the house is haunted so no one will want to buy it.

I don't want to move.

Read on the "friends" blog that he is contemplating moving to New York. A lot of the bullshit that is going on suddenly made more sense. His girlfriend recently broke up with him. He is supposed to be taking some me time, to get to know himself, since none of his relationships seem to work out. He is terrified of being alone. Now there is a girl from MI that moved to NYC. They have "been together" in the past. He is transferring all his emotions from the old girl to the new girl, and he knows that I think this is a bad idea. Now he is contemplating moving to NYC. So, he shuts me out. Goes to new friends who don't know him as well. Who don't care as much about what happens to him, but at least he gets the answers he wants. Sad.

I think that may be the last I write on that subject. Since reading all of the blog stuff, I feel a sense of calm. 2 months, none of this will matter.

"It will be fine in the end. If it's not fine, it's not the end."

That is NOT a theme song, but it is my very meaningful quote for right now.

Hey, it's my blog, I can cheat if I want to.

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Theme Song # 12 - Random Thoughts on This and That

Having rehearsal at my house tomorrow. I enjoy cooking. Made deserts today. Making chili tomorrow, though will probably order pizza too.

Short on funds this week. Wanted to buy some new clothes, that I probably don't really need, but don't think I will get to.

My friend and I are still not speaking. Rehearsals with him seem to be okay, though I do get more tense on days he will be there. It is just annoying.

Dog is cuddled up right next to my leg. Truly man's best friend.

Weather has been nice this week. Cooler. Thank GOD!!

I wonder when the new Treo will be announced.

Judging Amy is an underrated television show, and now it's been cancelled. =(

Haven't been sleeping well. Stress. Too many things on my mind. Toss and turn.

Celebrity Poker Showdown is on. Howie Mandel is a FREAK.

Tracy is moving to L.A. She is selling her house and moving to be with Mike. I wish her well, but I wish she were moving for other reasons. I fear for her happiness, and I feel bad for her mom.

I need to do something about my hair.

I really wish things were better with my friend. I don't think they ever will be.

Spoke to Joey for a long time yesterday. It was a great conversation. He made me feel good. I miss him so.

"Everybody knows the secret. They all know what their life should be, and they move like a river. Everybody's knows except for me."

That's my theme song for right now

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Theme Song #11 - Stuck In My Head 2

"I am the son, and the heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar. I am the son and the heir of nothing in particular. You shut your mouth. How can you say I go about things the wrong way? I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else...See, I've already waited too long, and all my hope is gone.."

That is my theme song for right now.

And it won't get the hell out of my head! =)

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Theme Song #10 - Just Checking In

Don't really have much to say at the moment.

Just felt I needed to write something.

Watching Big Brother, my favorite reality show, on TIVO.

GO JANELLE!!

It's the first time I haven't been rooting for the gay guy. He is so ANNOYING!!

"then from out of the blue, and without any guide. You know what your decision is, which is not to decide. You'll just leave him a clue. For example...a shoe. And then see what he'll do, now it's he and not you, who is stuck with a shoe, in the goo, in a stew, and you've learned something too, something you never knew..."

That is my theme song for right now

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Theme Song #9 - Unconditional Love

I can't believe I have not mentioned my pets yet.

I have one cat, Mr. Sondheim, and one dog, Sophie.

I love my cat, I really do, but he sheds like crazy, so he gets a little less snuggling.

My dog on the other hand does not shed, and is truly my baby.

No matter how down I feel, how stressed I am, or what is going wrong in my life, my dog always has love for me.

There is nothing more sweet or comforting to come home and find that she has taken my slippers from their spot by the kitchen door, and moved them to the living room. Not to chew on them, but rather just to sleep on them. It just warms my heart every time.

Here is a picture of my babies.



And one more, just because it's so cute...



"how much is that doggie in the window?..."

That is my theme song for right now

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Theme Song #8 - Endings

Just watched the last 10 minutes of the last episode of Six Feet Under, waiting for Entourage to start. I wanted to like this show so badly when it first started and was just never able to get into it.

I thought the last 10 minutes were incredible though. I won't say what happened in case you haven't seen it yet.

Now never having really watched it, I don't know for a fact that it was a good or fitting ending for the series, but on it's own, it was a very effective 10 minutes of t.v.

"it's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life"

That is my theme song for right now

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Theme Song #7 - My First Comment

Someone commented on my blog.

Well, two people actually, but one was an AD or something.

I feel special.

So, if anyone else is viewing my little world, please comment. It makes ya feel goooood!!

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and whitty and bright..."

That is my theme song for right now.

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Theme Song #6 - Text Messaging Is Evil - Part Two

Me (5:28 pm): do you have plans tonight?

Friend (5:28 pm): Hey. I was JUST thinking about you. Freaky.
Supposed to have dinner w/ (name removed). Havent heard from her yet. Wassup?

Me (5:32 pm): Just wanted to see what was up. If you didn't have plans, thought maybe we could do something. Didn't realize (name removed) was in town.

Friend (5:32 pm): She is supposed to get into town this afternoon.
Even if we get dinner, i should be around later... Like 9ish.

Me (5:39 pm): okay, well let me know if you're around later.

Friend (5:38 pm): Will do.

Friend (9:17 pm): Having drinks DT... Just wanted to update you.
Are you up for a late night?

Me (9:23 pm): Possibly. guess it depends on when it starts and what the plan is.

Me (10:30 pm): Hey man. Been an hour. Is there a plan or should I just hit the hay?

Me (10:30 pm): Just need to know what's happening.

Friend (11:27 pm): Sorry my phone died. Call you tomorrow.

Now at this point I had been sitting around for two hours. Hopped on caffiene, ready for this "late night". Did (name removed) not have a cell phone? Was there no phone anywhere?

Am I crazy? Is this how friends act?

Well, I guess, at least, I have my answers now. There is not much need to wonder if our friendship is going to survive.

It's Not.

"Friends will let you down. Friends wont be around. When you need them most. Where are your friends, yeah Friends are hard to find Friends, yours and mine"

That is my theme song for right now

Sing it Jody!!

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Theme Song #5 - Text Messaging is Evil

Sent a text.
Got a text back.
Probably a big mistake.
Set myself up for disapointment.
We'll see.
I think things will just get worse.

Edit: IT DID. Go Figure.

"obladee, oblada, life goes on, brah..."

That is my theme song for right now

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Theme Song #4 - Drunk Bloggin

"Do you have enough?"

That was the extent of it. A question about having the appropriate amount of change for a root beer.

My friend is "trying", but it's not enough. I am not sure he fully realizes what the problem is. I guess I need something more than the offer of a quarter.

I don't know. What the hell do I know, I'm drunk, well heavily buzzed.

It was awkward. It was strange. It was civil and pleasant.

Who wants civil and pleasant?

Not me.

"Pennies or nickels or dimes, we live in perilous times..."

That is my theme song for right now

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Theme Song #3 - Stuck in My Head

"Ruprecht's all about sun and Santa Clause, milkshake enemas, fun and play. Ruprecht's all about Burmese belly rubs, fresh shaved testicles on Christmas Day"

That is my theme song for right now

GOD HELP ME!! =)

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Theme Song #2 - Rehearsal Day

Tonight should be interesting.

It's Dream Cruise time again. There aren't many days that I hate more than the Dream Cruise days.

I have rehearsal tonight. Was going to have a party after, but with DC and with the stress that is plaguing me at rehearsal, it's probably not such a great idea.

My best friend and I are not really speaking at the moment. Not because of a fight or anything like that. Instead, I think he is pulling away from me because I will be moving away soon. This happened one before in our friendship, and it really sucks.

He is in the show, and it is making things awkward. He is forging new friendships, and because of this, I am pulling away too.

Silly Silly Stuff

"I see the same sky through my window that you see through yours, but we're worlds apart, worlds apart."

"and a heart without a home is such a lonesome row to hoe, maybe leaving's not the only way to go"

Those are my theme songs for right now

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Theme Song #1 - Introduction

Does anyone remember Ally McBeal? There was an episode where her therapist told her she needed to find a theme song for her life. I have always believed this. And everyday when I am driving in my beater pick up truck, or cooking, or showering, or whatever, I imagine I have a theme song. As if the activity that I am doing at the moment is the opening credits to my own personal sitcom.

Things are very strange in my life right now. Off kilter. A lot of change happening. Some good, some not so good. Friends vanishing.

"I chose when my world was shaken, so what? That choice may have been mistaken, but choosing was not. You have to move on."

That is my theme song for right now.

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